My last day at the hospital was today!!! I feel so free and light! It was a little sad…just a little…I know I will keep in touch with many of them and will stop in for lunch every once in awhile. I am just so excited about the next phase of my life that it’s hard to think of much else right now!!!
Onward and upward–hitching a ride on the next great adventure!!!!
WOW! What a busy 2 weeks here! Lily got her horse…a beautiful 5 year old paint pony with a very cuddly disposition. She gets to ride him for the first time today and she’s over the moon! He’s going to be her best friend…I’m so excited for her!
Big news!!! I quit my job! Such a big relief…I was seriously burning out. Les and I have decided that our new salesperson for the gallery will be ME!! I already have a lot of things to do when I start on February 9th…it’s going to be a whirlwind but I am oh so looking forward to all of it.
I spent so much time the last 3 years waiting with baited breath for the weekend to come. I may not get as many “weekends” now but at least I will be the captain of my own ship rather than working “for the man”. Everything I do will positively or negatively impact our bottom line. It’s a lot of responsibility but I’m up for anything.
Energetically speaking, this change will truly make a huge difference in my life. Waiting for Friday wastes a lot of time–I found I was never living in the moment but living in the future. This frees me up to fully experience everything that comes at me in real time. Up/down, good/bad to show up for it all is very exciting and more in line with the way I choose to live my life. We are putting a lot of faith behind this move–we haven’t been let down this far–nowhere to go but UP!
So for now I sign off with my new title…
Julaine Voorhis-Focus West Gallery Marketing Manager
Lily turned 9 yesterday. I took the day off and we went looking at horses for her. The kid is HORSE CRAZY! She’s been taking lessons for a couple of months and has ridden several different horses. The consistancy has not been there for her to really meld with a horse and further her training. She spends most of her time getting used to the horse she’s riding on rather than concentrating on her form. In the interest of making her the best rider she can be, we decided it was time to get her her own horse.
We looked at 2 on Friday–they were sweet and furry and completely bombproof–but I’m afraid maybe too bombproof. I have a feeling she’d be bored in just a few months with either one of them. We found 2 more last night and we go look at them tomorrow. One is 9 and the other 12–perfect ages, and, if the billing is correct, would be great for her. This means a road trip but I think it will be worth it.
There is nothing like the smile on a 9 year old face when she finds out she gets her dream shot. She was thrilled for lack of a better word–I’d buy her 20 horses to make her face look like that every day…
This is the week for milestones. Miss Lily turns 9 and Les and I will celebrate the 15th anniversary of the day we met. Big stuff. I can’t believe my baby is so old-and I certainly can’t believe Les and I have been together so long.
Miss Lily has grown into a fine young lady. She had some troubles this week with standing up for herself but I think she’ll be better for the experience. There is a little girl that loves her so muchthat that she tries to force Lily to only be with her. Lil is afraid to hurt this girl’s feelings-at the expense of her own happiness. We’ve given her words to use-hopefully she will find it within herself to stand up for herself and this will all blow over. The challenges of raising a little girl are starting. I’m so proud of her and everything she does–this too shall pass.
My husband. Les is quite possibly one of the greatest men on the planet. He is kind and loving, a wonderful father, a great friend, proud, determined, smart and funny…everything I could ever want in a husband. 15 years with him and he still makes me giddy-he loves me more than I ever thought possible and I love him right back. I can’t imagine a life without him–and I’m thankful that I don’t have to!
Another milestone was hit this week. I lost 7 lbs and hit my first goal. I feel healthier already and much more alive. The workouts are fun (so far) and I’ve started to set goals outside of weight loss. In 2000 I ran in the Race for the Cure-it was my last race. I’ve decided to run it again this year as the start of my new passion. I’ve not run yet–I need to get some weight off to spare my knees–but the elliptical is a good start. I plan to do my first outside runs around my birthday-I should have hit my “weight to run” goal by then. Roy and I are going to do those runs together-it will be awesome for both of us!
A year of milestones. (Jake turns 13 in June as well) They are a benchmark with which to measure a life. I truly feel like I’ve started living these last few weeks. Maybe it’s the medication-perhaps it’s keeping promises to myself-likely it’s all of the above. I don’t care what it is-I just want to live fully and completely. Healthy, Happy–what more could a person want?
We are heading out of the holiday season and in to the new year. Looking back on 2008 I have many things to be thankful for and a few things I will gladly leave behind.
We have gone through many ups and downs and are landing on an up–overall I would have to label 2008 a success. We are all happy, healthy and well cared for-what more could you ask for?
I have goals for 2009-many that I’m “picking up where I left off”. There are the usual goodies, lose weight, eat better, blah blah…and then there are the goals that speak to my soul. I spent a lot of time in 2008 focusing on what my soul wants and plan to do that even more. I spent the better part of an hour today browsing the metaphysical section at the bookstore and making a mental list of the books I want to read. I burned out on my quest to read many books toward the end of the year but I hope to pick that goal up again. I’m setting a goal of 15 books in 2009-much more doable to read that amount and still have a life. I haven’t decided on my first book of the year yet but I’m narrowing it down. I also want to read some things that are simply light hearted and just for fun.
Fun. That is definitely a goal. I had some time off during the holidays and I was struck by how bored I got. There are always dished to be washed and clothes to be folded but I didn’t get to do anything FUN. I sound like my 8 year old–she is forever begging to do something FUN. I spend a lot of time explaining to her that not everything can be fun all of the time. But then I think–why not? I fall in to the trap of getting up, getting to work, getting dinner ready, getting ready for bed, and then getting up and doing it all over again. How wonderful would it be to punctuate those periods of “getting” with actually living? I need to have more fun-to laugh more, to love more, to celebrate this thing called life.
I turn 39 this year-one year away from the big 4-0. There are so many things I haven’t yet done that I need to do. I want to enter into my 40th year feeling, looking and being better than I ever have been. I want to be proud to say I’ve hit that milestone and look back in awe instead of wishing for what could have been.
Speaking of milestones, Les and I celebrate our 15th anniversary in January (the anniversary of the day we met–it is perhaps the holiest day in our relationship and one we like to celebrate most of all). I cannot believe 15 years have passed so quickly. We have 2 beautiful children and a relationship to be envied. We love eachother more today than we did when we got married-have weathered many a storm-and come out on top each time. I am truly blessed to have met and married the love of my life. Our life together is one of the things I am most proud of.
To sum up…New Year’s Resolutions if you will…
Live life with purpose. In every aspect. At all times.
Be as conscious of what goes in my mouth as I am of what comes out of it.
In honor of my health, truly live from a place of wellness. Exercise, eat well, laugh.
Find the fun in everyday places. Feel joy as my children do. Do one thing each day that makes me smile and feel at peace.
Read 15 books in 12 months. And they don’t all have to be life changing.
Expect miracles and fully experience them when they come.
Say grace.
Thank my husband and children for being in my life everyday.
Remember things that need to be remembered.
No putting it off-do it today. Monday is always coming and, before you know it, Mondays are all behind us. Do it today.
In this and every moment, be peaceful, give myself a break, and savor the wonder.
Happy 2009-it’s going to be a big one!
I don’t know how to type the words that follow and I may go on autopilot to get through them. Should Leslie ever read this, I want her to know that I love her and support her through all the days and weeks ahead. I am always here.
I found out this morning that my dear childhood friend’s daughter passed away yesterday after falling into the family pool. In the blink of an eye she was gone. My heart aches for her mother, sister, father, grandparents…it aches so much. Leslie and I have lost touch over the years but she is still, in my mind, my best friend and I would do anything to make this hurt go away for her.
When we were kids (think jr. high) we had so much fun. We did everything together as 12 yo girls do-rarely got into trouble but, when we did, we went big. I fondly remember the cake fight at her 13th birthday party, in Gran’s house, all over. Gran was so mad and so was Ma…but we had a great time. There were the days when we used to sneak Yukon Jack from the cupboard–and by sneak, I mean sip. We thought we were awesome–sipping the hooch. It wouldn’t have been enough to get a fly drunk but it was MAJOR for us. Then there was the day that we were starving and there was no food in the house and we made mac and cheese with coffeemate…do not try this at home. Our greatest adventure was New Year’s Eve 1983 I think. We had been left alone with many children to babysit that promptly fell asleep. There were to be fireworks in the town square (4 blocks from my house) that we HAD to see. We checked on our charges, locked the dog in the house and went uptown. The streets were crowded but somehow we came within feet of bumping into my uncle in front of the courthouse-which sent us running for home. No one ever found out (until now–Hi Mom!) so we thought we had made it as teenagers.
Time and distance have changed our relationship in many ways. Especially today, I feel incredibly guilty that I didn’t keep in better touch. I always meant to–I guess life just sometimes goes that way. It’s crappy and it’s painful–I vow that it will never happen again.
Leslie-you are a great mother and a gift to those that love you. You are stronger than you know. Really, much stronger. Now that you have a special angel to look over you, things will get easier in time. Be kind to yourself and call if you ever need anything–know that I will be there.
Many prayers for your baby–and her mama (and Meg and Tom, too). Heavy heart.
It’s no secret that the last 2 weeks have been a battle. We’ve gone from having everything to losing everything to trying to salvage everything in a short period of time. We have gotten a little reprieve (thank you Marvin) and breathing room-all necessary to make some tough decisions. I personally have let myself hit the bottom (and I know from bottom) but that’s not getting anyone anywhere. I had a long talk with my brother today and he was very insightful and helped me brainstorm some ideas to pull us through. I have a bunch of ideas to share with Les and I think we can put together a plan to make some of them work. Saving what we’ve built is top priority and I really think we are on the right track now. Thank you, Adam-one more time you are the voice of my conscience and the keeper of the light at the end of the tunnel.
I rewatched The Secret again this evening. I just need to be reminded to focus from time to time. I get so stuck in the spiral that it’s hard to concentrate on right intention-going back to that gets me back on the path. My mom reminded me that when Les and I both focus together that big things happen. As soon as one of us gets in a funk, things go downhill quickly so it’s important that we get on the same page. He gets home late tomorrow night but I think we’ll be up late hammering out our future.
Time for gratitude again…I’m grateful for Adam who pulled me back to the surface today, I’m thankful to my mom for listening without judging, I’m thankful for my sister that reminds me that I’ve been here before and just need to do it already, I’m thankful for my resourceful husband who always pulls through, I’m thankful to my father who gives what he can and that always makes a huge impact on my life though he thinks it’s nothing, I’m grateful for my kids who make it all worth doing, I’m thankful for all that I have and all that will be–because it’s all just as it should be.
I moved to South Dakota 5 years ago this month. In doing so, I left a group of friends and family behind in Colorado. I miss them all and wish for the days we could just catch up over a cup of coffee, hit the mall, or walk in the mountains. There are 2 people I miss the most and talk to far to seldomly.
This week I vowed to get back in touch. I need their friendship and advice during this time more than ever. I was lucky enough to talk to Pam last weekend and will try to reconnect with Shellie today or tomorrow.
Friends are important and these two ladies are more like sisters to me. Pam is always the voice of reason and reminds me that I can put on my big girl panties and move forward. She tends to be very private and we don’t get to talk often but when we do, it’s like we spoke yesterday. Shellie and I have a special connection–many connections, actually. When one calls, the other was feeling like they should. We pick up where we left off and delve into things that go beyond the mundane. She is my spiritual voice when I can’t find the words. She reminds me that my spirit is the most important thing and bouys that part of me even when I can’t.
I am thankful for these touchstones and need to make a point of calling more. I would dearly love it if they lived close by so that we could spend actual time-but that’s not in the cards right now. Pam is in Colorado and Shellie is now in Iowa so it’s a one or another kind of thing. Maybe we could plan a girls weekend somewhere in between.
Girlfriends are a true gift.
I’m trying not to belabor the whole “economy sucks” issue, but it SUCKS! Les and I are both in luxury businesses…and people just can’t be bothered to buy art or get a massage when they are worried about buying a loaf of bread or a tank of gas. To say business is slow is an understatement–I fear this could be the end of something wonderful.
We moved here 5 years ago with high hopes of being self-employed and flourishing. Up until July, that’s exactly what was happening. We were up almost 100% over last year and having no trouble making payroll, paying our bills, and putting a little away. Now is a completely different story. Our accounts receivable are dwindling and no orders are coming in. I still have hope for the Christmas buying season, but beyond that, things aren’t looking good.
Les is going to have to get another “job”. Not the kind we like, but it will pay the bills. It will involve him being gone at least 4 days a week and having to make a 2 hour drive to get back and forth. My heart breaks for all of the things he will miss…but this too shall pass, right?
Massage has all but dried up. I have one massage on the books for this week so that’s something. Hopefully my mailing will bring in another one or two before month’s end. I would really like to have 1-2 a week so I am focusing on that. It’s going to turn around…it just has to.
The boys went hunting this weekend so hopefully we’ll have some pheasant to put in the freezer. I have no idea how many deer we’ll end up with this year with Les working in Wyoming. Hopefully at least a couple–they last all year. Not having to buy meat is a definite help…let’s hope we can pull it off.
So Lily and I have a girls weekend–it’s supposed to be 75 here today. She wants to go to the barn to see her Jessie so maybe we’ll do that for awhile this afternoon. I’d like to go for a hike in the hills–maybe take a picnic and just be outside. This could be the last warm spell we get and I want to enjoy it to the fullest.
In this time of frustration and fear I have to remind myself to be thankful for what we have. I am thankful for the health and happiness of my kids and husband. I am thankful for the love and support of my mom, dad, brother and sister. I am thankful for the environment I work in-my coworkers make each day an adventure and I’m blessed to be there. I’m thankful for the shoulder/ear of my dearest friend-she never fails to say/do just the right thing to help me make it through-and has since I was 12. I’m thankful for my furbabies who snuggle and cuddle no matter what. I’m thankful for the internet that entertains and gives me space to let go and put it out there so it doesn’t fester in here. I’m thankful for the reminders of my faith that constantly turn me inside and out to draw to me the experiences that life has to offer and the strength to pull through. I’m thankful for the warm sun and the falling leaves that remind me that my favorite season is here in all its glory. I’m thankful for the fact that I can still be thankful in light of my current struggles. I’m thankful for it all–and much, much more.
I woke up to 6 inches of snow on Friday and it’s been snowing ever since off and on. It’s so pretty! I love the first snowfall of the season–everything is white and clean–so beautiful. It has been cold but not so cold that we can’t function-high 20s. Lily has been having a great time making snowmen and throwing snowballs for Roy (though he caught on pretty quickly and realized he just got a mouthful of snow!).
Les has a photography workshop today–3 guys from Texas who aren’t quite dressed for conditions. They are really excited about the prospect of cowboys working in the snow. Should be a fun time-I can’t wait to see the images!
So now I’m here–all cozy in my warm house, waiting out the storm. Ahhh for a lazy Sunday. Maybe I’ll watch “The Lake House” again, or take a nap, or read…
